Seeing as I have many friends who are currently in a relationship there have been many times (too many ,actually) when circumstances have forced me to be the only other person with the “couple” which has lead to my existence as the qutessential “kabab mein haddi”. These instances have actually taught me so much that I would like to share it with the 3 (to liberal an estimate????) people who must be reading this.
1) 5 minutes of complete pindrop silence does not qualify as an awkward silence, even though it must be feeling like some one literally making the seconds hand on your wristwatch go slower than 7p.m. traffic at iit powai. And it is eventually YOUR responsibility as the third person to find something which all three of you’ll can talk about not the friend you have in common as I have found out to my own chagrin more times than I would like it. This has however improved my conversational skills.
2) You know that about 4-5 feet is the right amount of distance to keep between yourself and the “in love twosome”,ILT, shall we call them. If due to various reasons that is not possible 2 do so ,there is always the option of walking behind them ,try to avoid walking in front of them , cause I have found it to be difficult to ward off the impulse to look back at the most inopportune time.
3) When you are with ILT’s ,take the time to find out what your school friend is upto, if your niece has started talking, take the time ,burn a hole in your pocket or more appropriately your parents pocket if they are paying your mobile bill, n call everyone you know, cause its an incredible polite excuse to politely give them some alone time and something, for you to do rather than sit throuh another awkward silence.
4) You tend to develop invisible blinders which prevent you from seeing anything going on, on any side but the front.
5) You will probably go to hell for lying so much for your friend, or will cause your friend’s mother to wonder a lot what their child is doing meeting you so mannnny times.
6) You will learn how to not interfere and at the same time take your friend’s side
7) You will feel happy for your friend who gets the only jacket in the rains, even though you are soaked to the skin, cause ,she gets to share it with him.
8) You will reject every invitation of prolonging your stay, even before the menacing glances from your friend make an appearance.
And finally even though the situation will only reaffirm your single status, you will keep aside that thought and bear another awkward silence with a smile on your face